Make mine a huge with a double shot of espresso, no make that a triple, and give me soya milk with extra foam and a truckload of chocolate sprinkles... oh and throw in a shot of moonshine while you're at it. Yeah I know it's not on the menu but I seen you take a swig out of that jar under the counter there. Don't blame you neither. Think I'd do the same if I had to deal with a hundred of the likes of that douche in a suit you was just serving. That is pretty much why I'm asking for you to be an angel and throw one in my coffee. It's been one of those days and it's not even 9:30. I still got to get through eight more hours of douches in suits tell me what to do and how to do it and would I please smile and put on some lipstick 'cos we got customers to keep happy and no one likes looking at a glumpy guts. Thanks darling, you're a peach!
Say haven't I seen you before? No, not here, somewhere else. You ever been to a little club called the Bluefish? You know which one I'm talking about? You do? Oh that's good to know. So, you know what, I got a good feeling about you. Here's my number. Give me a call if you ever wanna hang out and commiserate about stuff.
Wow, I am so happy you called! Honestly I wasn't sure you would 'cos I thought maybe you get hit on all the time and maybe you were just being polite and all, but here you are, calling me up! So, I was thinking of going to the club later on. You wanna join me for a drink? Oh wow, dinner at your place beforehand, that sounds great! Yeah, I'm free. I'll be there at 7; you text me the address and I'll be there.
Oh my Lordy I am so nervous all of a sudden. Just get it together honey. It's just dinner and some dancing at the club and yeah sure she's cute as a button and you are too and sure you are thinking all sorts of naughty thoughts but you really need to meet the girl first before you jump into... well anything. Ok so what are we wearing? Shall I go with black? That's safe, right? Or maybe the electric blue 'cos I am feeling all charged up! Hahaha, ok just chill sweetie. Maybe a little more casual. The soft blue dress to the knee. Not too sexy but not too safe neither. After all it's not just her personality I'm interested in and I'm hoping that feeling is mutual.
Hi there! Yeah, sorry I'm a bit early. Traffic was lighter than I expected. Oh looks like I am not the only one here (thank god I went for the less sexy dress). Oh these are your parents, and this is your... husband? Oh really, that's um, ok, right I think maybe ... shit ... oh sorry, um you know what I think I left something in my car, my phone, yeah I just need to go and check that out sorry. I just really need to go. Um why is the door locked? Sorry? What was that about Jesus. What did you call me?! Oh hell no. I am perfectly happy just the way I am thank you. I do not need saving. Tell your brother to take his hands off of me! Holy shit I will scream blue murder.
Fire fire fire!
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